Viability

If we could have just made it this far, Ruth and I. If we could have have just made it this far they would have given her a chance. She would have been "viable". Apparently viability does not happen until 24 weeks,until that point nothing will be done. Oh sure, they will try to stop the contractions with preterm labor but if it doesn't work they won't try to save your baby because she is not "viable". I get it, I do. I know no baby has survived at only 22 weeks but it still makes me angry. Everything seems to make angry these days. If I feel better for awhile I am mad at myself for that, If I fall apart I'm mad about not being able to keep it together. If Willie seems to not be thinking of her enough ,I'm mad about that. I read this is normal. I read alot of things. I read about other women who have gone through a loss like mine. I read about possible causes. I read and read and read and I still feel lost.

I'm supposed to be pregnant. I'm not,instead I'm 14 days empty today.