It is her  Birthday today, in exactly three hours. Everything has changed. I am in a better place but my heart is still heavy, I guess it always will be. I made it through her due date and through the holidays... and mothers day.How am I going to make it through THIS day though? Sarah ran the Eugene marathon  and qualified for Boston,she ran for Ruth. She recently hit 500 miles, 500 miles running for Ruth. Sometimes I feel like Sarah does more to honor her and keep her memory alive than I do. Sarah gives me strength  when I have none and a shoulder to cry one when I need one.I don't think I ever knew the depths of our friendship until Ruth. Another thing I have to thank my Angel for.
I am thankful she made me a mother, that she chose me to be her mommy. I am thankful for the new found love I discovered when I became pregnant. A love so deep, so pure  that words can not describe it. A mothers love truly goes beyond words, I know that now,because of Ruth.
Today it has been one year since I held her her tiny perfect body in my arms. One year since I said goodbye to the dreams Willie and I had for our little girl. One year since pain beyond measure struck my heart so hard so fast I never thought I would be the same. I guess I never really will be the same as before, after all before this day one year ago I wasn't a mommy to a tiny perfect angel.
Happy First Birthday Ruth. I love you to the Moon and back.