The Moon

I swear my heart knows without my eyes ever seeing it, when there is a full moon. I can't stop crying today. It's a full moon. I chose my wedding day to be on a full moon, in August, a tribute to my Ruth. Less than 2 months from now will be that day, Ruth's Moon. I wonder if sharing my wedding day with the her moon will make me less sad the next time I see it. I want to smile when I think of her. I want people to remember, but they don't want to. They want to wish her away. A Tragedy they want to forget, they even tell me I shouldn't cry anymore,to let it go. SHE DIED. SO after you hold a lifeless tiny little person in your arms THEN you can tell me to let it go. THEN you try and tell me not to cry. I don't care how much time has passed my heart still hurts. No one really knows since I don't talk about it anymore. Afterall it is apparently unacceptable to discuss the loss of Ruth since it has been almost two years. SO I will sit here at my desk and cry to myself which is fine, I don't want to share it with anyone anyway. I just wish people didn't shun her name like a bad nightmare. I think I will go visit the moon on the beach tonight. See you there baby girl.